


No one Knew

by FlashDom



Series: No one knew, Why would they? [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Cancer, Character Death, F/M, Letters, Mentions of Cancer, Regret, Tags Are Hard, That's Not How The Force Works, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2019-10-12 10:23:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17465735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlashDom/pseuds/FlashDom
Summary: Barry is the fash. he was struck by lightning and met cait and cisco. The lightning had a side effect. Harrison Wells is dead and left STAR labs to Barry b/c he felt bad about his mother's murder.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Barry is the fash. he was struck by lightning and met cait and cisco. The lightning had a side effect. Harrison Wells is dead and left STAR labs to Barry b/c he felt bad about his mother's murder.

No one knew, how could they? No one knew what was going through Barry’s mind at that moment. In the moment when he decided to make that choice. Only Barry knew because he didn't want anyone else to know. And Barry always gets what he wants, one way or another.  
Barry woke up that day dreading it already. It was time for his yearly appointment, to make sure the cancer stayed gone. It was going to be his last appointment, but he had told everyone his last appointment was 3 years ago, he told them the cancer was definitely gone.  
“Barry!” Iris shouted from downstairs, without answering Barry slowly made his way down the stairs of the west house and approached iris from behind while listening to her mumble, “ ugh, why is he like this, he's always late, can he do anything right”.  
Pretending he didn't hear what he did he responded, “whatcha need” in a kind demeanor.  
“What I need is for you actually listen when I tell you something,” Iris said in an aggravated tone.  
“What happened, what did I forget this time?” Barry asked suddenly more worried about Iris than his appointment.  
“You seriously don’t remember, Ugh- Bye Barry I have somewhere to be”. Iris said quickly leaving out the front door.  
Barry hopped on the bus and made his way to the precinct, he had already let captain Singh know he couldn’t make it into work that day, but Barry needed to drop off some files. Walking into the precinct Barry was greeted by none other than Joe West. Expecting a hug Barry joyfully said hi to his foster father, only to receive a punch in the face in return. “What the hell Barry!” Joe shouted in an angry tone.  
As confused as he was Barry tried to respond, but before he could Joe stomped off in the other direction. “What the hell did I do this time?” barry questioned himself while holding his hand against his now bleeding nose. Barry swiftly dropped off the file and made his way to STAR Labs to pick up his coat that he left there the other day when spending time with Caitlin and Cisco.  
Walking into the lab still slightly cherry, Barry said hi to Caitlin and Cisco only to get entirely cold-shouldered. “Okay is anyone going to tell me what I did?” Barry asked with aggravated undertones in his voice. Still receiving no answer, Barry left STAR labs with just enough time to make it to his appointment.  
\----------------------------3 hour time skip--------------------------------------------------------------

The doctor walked back into the room with a sorry look on his face. “I'm sorry to inform you sir, but your Leukemia is back.” Barry's face went flat. “It's much worse than last time, it's at the point where we can't treat it”. The room was left in silence.  
Barry spoke to the doctor about donating his body to research asking to extract everything they needed as soon as possible. He saw no point in waiting considering everyone he knew hated him, and he was going to die anyways.  
They scheduled the appointment for the next week.  
\---------------Time skip, Appointment day----------------------------------------------------------------

Barry woke up immediately leaving the west house, right after placing 2 letters on the counter. He made his way to an empty STAR labs, leaving 2 notes in the Cortex.  
Only when arriving outside of the office did Barry realize he didn't want to be alone for this, He hesitant pulled out his phone and dialed Iris’s number. She answered coldly, “What do you want Barry”.  
“Iris I'm sor-” Barry was cut off  
“I don’t want to hear your I'm sorry Barry”  
“Iris please, just tell me what I did wrong, please”  
“You should know by now Barry”

And so, Barry Allen died alone. Teary-eyed and regretful as he breathed his last breath.  
\----------------------------------Iris’s P.O.V.---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Iris heard Barry’s light cries as she hung up the phone, she contemplated calling him back and almost did before she stopped herself. “He needs to know what he did was wrong, how could he have forgotten that court day. The trail of the man who successfully killed both Cisco’s brother, and Joe’s partner Detective Shire.” Iris thought to herself. Iris walked over to the precinct to talk to her father, regretting being rude to Barry the entire way. It could have been an honest mistake. Suddenly Iris had a thought, “Barry’s been forgetting quite a lot recently, kind of like in his worst moments of c-- no. No, it's gone.” wiping the very existence of that thought from her mind.  
Iris picked up her father and drove home both of them home, the entire way they spoke about what was up with Barry, Iris yelled at her father when she found out he had hit Barry. Walking inside the house Iris could sense something was up. Then she saw two perfectly placed letters sitting on the counter. Upon closer inspection, she saw Barry’s Handwriting all over them. “Oh no,” Iris said looking worryingly at her father as she opened the letter. She fell to the ground crying.


	2. Dear Cisco,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco finds the letter Barry left him after his death.

 

_Dear Cisco,_

_I know you hate me, what you hate me for, I simply can’t remember. I'm sorry, as you probably know by now my cancer came back, it was more serious this time, Writing this I can hardly remember what we did in the past month. I'm sorry. I honestly don't know what else to say to you Cisco. I wish I didn't do whatever you were mad at me for, whatever made you hate me. But I did, I may not remember what it was, all I know is that I did it, and well if you're reading this it's too late for me to fix it. I'm sorry._  
_But anyway, back to business. In case you haven't realized, I’m dead, way to state the obvious Barry, why did I just write that? Sorry, again. Back to the point, the building that you found this letter in, well it’s finally going to the person it should have belonged to in the first place, you. My full will is disclosed in the letter i left for joe, but I want you to know why I left this building to you and not Cait, who has been here for longer than you, Cisco, Caitlin is brilliant, but even she knows shes, we all are, nothing compared to your brain. You will be able to do the most with this building and all the resources that came with it. I believe in you Cisco, even if you don't want me to. I love you like a brother Cisco, even if you didn’t want me to._  
_-Barry Allen_

 

Cisco winced at the last sentence, like a brother, even if you don’t want me to, “I was so mad at Barry, for not getting revenge on that murderer. I didn’t even realize that all this time I would be losing not one brother, but two.” Cisco whispered to the empty cortex coughing back tears. As Cisco dropped the envelope, another paper fell out-. He bent down to pick it up, tears falling to the ground.

 

_Dear Cisco,_  
_I forgot to mention the thing I'm most sorry for not telling anyone, I should of. (The writing suddenly became slopier as if he has been shaking, this part of the paper had slightly dampened spots scattered across it) I'm sorry to leave this sudden of a burden on you, of protecting our city, I should've given you time to prepare. I'm sorry no one knew._

 

He couldn’t take it. He finally snapped, banging his fists hard against the wall and letting out a loud deafening scream of agony, banging his fists against the wall as he slowly collapsed against it. “I'm so sorry Barry, I'm so sorry”. Cisco muttered under his breath staring up at the ceiling of the lab.

  
“What happened! Cisco are you okay?”, The nearing shot came from the hallway.


	3. Dear Caitlin,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry's Letter to Caitlin after he dies.

Caitlin ran into the cortex after hearing Cisco’s loud and truly agonized shouts of horror. Glancing down she noticed two letters in Cisco’s hands and another, addressed to her, waiting on the desk. Slowly and fearfully, she reached down and opened up the letter. After seeing Barry’s handwriting she hurried to read it.

_ Dear Caitlin, _

_ I’m sorry. I know you- none of you want to hear this. I have my doubts as to whether or not these letters will even be opened. But, back to the point, I’m sorry. I don’t exactly know what I did, or how I hurt you all, but I'm so sorry. I regret it even without knowing what it is. At this point, I hardly remember what anything is. All I know is that I love you, You’ve always been there for me as one of my closest friends, you’ve always been there for me as my chosen family. You trusted me with everything, and I regret not doing the same. _

_ Caitlin whether or not you want me to, I know you better than most. I know that you'll be feeling bad about what happened. I know even if you hate me that you will take the blame for not being able to save me. Please, by the hope in a dead man’s last wishes, don’t. You have saved me from more than you know. You, of course, made sure I survived countless injuries but you also made sure my heart did. After everything with Harrison and the recording he left for me, you were the first to give me the ability to smile. Without you, I would be a shell of a person at this point. You have allowed me to grow and prosper as a human, and because of this, I will be eternally sorry for whatever I put you through. The only thought left on my mind is how I will never get to fix what I have started, or how I somehow know I deserve so much worse than just your hatred. _

_ Cait, I truly am so sorry. _

_ -Barry Allen _

Caitlin dropped the letter in her hand, watching the slow fluttering motion it made while on its journey to the Cortex floor. With a cold, emotionless expression on her face, she slowly, walked out of the cortex not exactly knowing where she was going.

After a while, she found herself in the speed lab. Her gaze scattered all across the lifeless and empty room. When she spotted Barry’s sweatshirt she finally snapped. Gathering the soft material in her hands that smelled so much like the selfless hero she knew and loved, Caitlin leaned against the railing of the laboratory with watery eyes.

Her cries echoed all across the empty speed lab. After a while Caitlin half expected Barry to walk behind her and envelop her in a warm hug, to comfort her and say everything would be okay all while a kind, youthful smile was spread across his face. Then she remembered. Barry was gone, she remembered that he died feeling hated, and worthless. She only wished that she could tell him just how needed and loved he truly was.

**Author's Note:**

> IM SORRY. the next few works in the series will consist of Barry's letters to Cisco, then Caitlin, followed by Joe's, and Lastly to Iris.


End file.
